Mom refuses to postpone vacation to Spain after husband claims he's too busy with work to travel, she decides to take the kids and go without him: 'I'd been looking forward to this'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 13, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Once you have a vacation planned ahead in your schedule, every day goes by a little bit easier, knowing you have something to look forward to. Today may have been extremely busy or full of annoying tasks, but at least in a few weeks, you will be forgetting all about it as you board the plane that takes you to your much-deserved vacation, right?

This anticipation is great, as long as nothing happens that forces you to reschedule your vacation. If you find yourself having to push it back, even just a little, that can crumple anyone's spirit, just like it did for the wife in the story below.

She had been looking forward to her two-week family vacation to Spain for months. It was set long ago, and the family - husband, wife, and the kids - are all ready to go this December.

Except now the husband claims he has too much work and will not be able to take a two-week vacation. Since this is not the first time husband's job has been a family issue, his wife is not too eager to agree to his demand to reschedule the vacation…

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  • 01
    Family Packing Car
    via @monkeybusinessimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my husband I'll go on vacation with the kids and my best friend if he's too busy with work?

    My husband and I have been married for over 4 years. Our son is 3 and our daughter is 16 months old.
    via Virgo514
  • 03
    My husband has a busy schedule, due to both his day job and his business after that and on Saturdays (and sometimes if I'm ok with it, Sundays).
    via Virgo514
  • 04
    We had planned to go to Spain at the end of December for a couple of weeks.
    via Virgo514
  • 05
    Like we've bought tickets, booked a hotel, talked about how we'll spend our two weeks there.
    via Virgo514
  • 06
    Last weekend he asked if we could postpone our trip to the end of June. Like a literal six months after we're supposed to go.
    via Virgo514
  • 07
    said no, it was so unfair that he was pulling this at the last minute.
    via Virgo514
  • 08
    He asked me to understand that his business required him to suddenly change his plans, that it was important, that hed been looking forward to this down time as much as I had.
    via Virgo514
  • 09
    To provide more context this isnt the first time this has been an issue. His business hours had been an issue over the past 2 to 3 years.
    via Virgo514
  • 10
    He'd made changes and organized his hours better and his job had become wfh too, so we had struck a balance that I could be ok with.
    via Virgo514
  • 11
    But his business hours again started infringing on our family time, and he'd been promoted to a managerial role at his day job so he was now going in to work on some days too.
    via Virgo514
  • 12
    I told him I'd been looking forward to this for so long, counting days till our vacation.
    via Virgo514
  • 13
    I told him I'll be going regardless whether he wants to come or not, and if he doesnt want to come we can get a refund and my best friend can go in his place.
    via Virgo514
  • 14
    Admittedly I was just lashing out I have no idea of the logistics of it. Yesterday I asked him again what his plan was.
    via Virgo514
  • 15
    He tried to show me messages from his clients to show how busy he was during that period, I told him I don't care.
    via Virgo514
  • 16
    He gave me his word. According to him I'm being unreasonable. I wanted to know AITA here.
    via Virgo514
  • 17
    Also, I dont even know if its logistically feasible and I dont want it to come to it, but would I be the AH if I actually went on vacation and took my best friend along?
    via Virgo514
  • 18
    Family vacationing at the beach
    via kate_sept2004

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Ordinary-Audience363 You are talking about next month, right? Unless your airplane tickets are refundable, a postponement would be expensive. You're not allowed to transfer tickets to another person so your friend will have to buy herself a ticket. Aside from that, it's a two-week vacation for you to relax a bit with the kids. It's better than sitting at home fuming about a missed holiday. I personally think HE is the one being unreasonable. There's no reason for you to stay home, is there? He i
    via Ordinary-Audience363
  • 20
    OP Virgo514 I figured they wouldn't be transferable. I believe our tickets should be refundable I haven't checked because I hate thinking about it and I believe he'll come through.
    via Virgo514
  • 21
    Jakyland INFO: what's the financial situation? Does he need to be working a second job, and does he really need to please this client this much?
    via Jakyland
  • 22
    OP Virgo514 Our financial situation is well in the green. Tending to These clients during those two weeks won't make or break us.
    via Virgo514
  • 23
    New-Jellyfish6737 Knowing what the business is actually makes me more sympathetic about you. It's not like he's a contractor and that maybe something unexpected happened and X project got delayed and suddenly he needs the time. If he's tutoring students, then LITERALLY HE CHOOSES HOW TO FILL HIS AGENDA. A responsible father/husband would block his agenda for those vacation days, make plans with the students, and would be very clear with his boundaries. Unfortunately, your family is not a priorit
    via New-Jellyfish6737
  • 24
    OP Virgo514 Exactly, I know Spain is going to be so hot in the summer, thats why I don't want to delay it. We had planned on being outside and going places and walking in the heat with out kids doesn't sound like fun. He knows he has to make us a priority and he'd been trying to juggle it well, and doing well with it too. But his classes just get more filled up every semester. I handle the finances so I can see it. I've made the case to him that he should just cap it now but that doesn't go anyw
    via Virgo514
  • 25
    Local_Gazelle538 He needs to either set the boundary with his clients that he won't be available those 2 weeks, or do the work remotely from Spain. His business is tutoring students, if he lets them know now, he can plan what's he's tutoring them on to get them ready for exams before he goes away. Definitely hold your ground on this. From your previous posts he has a real issue with over- working and not prioritising family. It's like he feels like he's failing if he relaxes - and that's not goo
    via Local_Gazelle538
  • 26
    OP Virgo514 Thanks. I agree and maybe thats the compromise I can go with. That he can do it online from there. Its not ideal, I'm not wild about him doing his classes while we're on vacation but at least we'll be together. I'll think about it. Also, I just realized my profile was available for people to see my previous posts. It sounds wrong but I was trying to keep the business vague rather than mention that its his tutoring business because when that gets mentioned, everyone becomes a lot more
    via Virgo514
  • 27
    INFO Specialist-Owl2660 Does he provide all of the income for the household? How old is his business? Did he breakdown the difficulties he would be facing with you in pursuing a new business when you married or when he started it? Is he eventually hoping to turn his business into his full time profession? What is the goal in it? I ask these questions because it really does determine if he is a AH or not. My business is less then three years old and often a new business can require a lot of work.
    via Specialist-Owl2660
  • 28
    OP Virgo514 No, I also work. I'm an accountant and I have wfh half the week so like on a 2-3 basis. Our income distribution is roughly 75 - 25. His business is about 7-8 years old now. He started it in college. And the workload wasnt a problem until a few years ago. I have suggested he make the business his sole work, especially since we'd be comfortable without his day job too. His reasoning has been that because his business hours kind of don't align with a 9-5, he wouldn't be making use of th
    via Virgo514
  • 29
    ecatt The tutoring thing makes him look worse, honestly. He could easily have told his students he's not going to be available those weeks months ago. And that's even before I peaked your profile and saw you were the one who posted previously about what a workaholic your husband is. If you do delay the vacation, you know he's just going to cancel again, right? He's addicted to working and this is never going to end.
    via ecatt
  • 30
    OP Virgo514 I'm surprised and honestly relieved that his business being tutoring isn't clouding people's judgement. It definitely does irl. If I ever in passing talk about how busy he is, everyone, including my own mom lol, is like yeah it sucks but also look at how many students future he's securing. At this point I just honestly want to reply with what about our kids. My kids get his undivided attention less than other people's kids. I know it sounds horrible lol.
    via Virgo514
  • 31
    duchess_of_fire I'm shocked that people in your life think it's okay. yeah, it's great that he's helping kids, but it shouldn't be at the expense of his own. he should be more invested in their futures than the futures of strangers. i don't know what holidays you celebrate if any, but December is full of them. he's really ok with missing out on those memories because he can't learn to say no to anyone except you?
    via duchess_of_fire
  • 32
    OP Virgo514 They don't think its ok, they think he works too much but they have a different reaction to it than say if the business was idk podcasting ig.
    via Virgo514

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relationship advice aita marriage kids work wife relationships husband advice couples love family mom married family vacation parents children vacation
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